To Be A Strong Leader, Be A Strong Mentor: Tips To Up Your Mentorship Style!
Very few people I know have received any formalized mentorship training/coaching. Yet, most people have a strong component of mentoring others as part of their job.
Mentoring others isn’t just a nice to do, it is a need to do. If you want to be competitive in the marketplace, you need to have strong people. One of the best ways to create strong people is for them to have mentors.
I didn’t really have many strong mentors throughout my career up to the Vice President level in the corporate world. I wish I had. It would have made it more enjoyable, less lonely, and I would have learned a lot more in a less painful way! Sure, we all have to learn for ourselves, but having others along for the ride is key!
How do you continue to grow to be a strong mentor?
Treat the mentee with the same level of respect that you expect from them- Often the mentor is in a more senior role than the mentee. But, it is important to treat each other like colleagues. It is difficult to build trust and a friendship with each other if it feels like one party is the authority figure over the other.
Remember the little things - When meeting with your mentee, it is good to have a pad of paper and pen with you. Yes, this might sound old fashion, but actually writing down the details will help you remember them better. And you can store them in a file (am I dating myself?! But sometimes the basics work best!) to review each time you meet your mentee. Then you will remember to follow up on their child’s birthday party or that big presentation they were giving to clients.
In any relationship, it is the little things that are actually the big things.
Be authentic - This is a good tip for life and for being a mentor. Your mentee doesn’t expect you to be perfect. Don’t put on a facade to impress them or establish your credibility. You are a worthy mentor. You definitely don’t need to prove it. Just be honest and be you.
Make time to connect in person if travelling to the same area - It is great to have virtual touch points and this makes having a mentor/mentee in a specific field possible as you can reach out to people all over the world and form these relationships. But, nothing solidifies a relationship like an in-person meet and greet.
Make sure to reach out to them if you are in their city for a conference or another business meeting. Yes, it is one more meeting on top of your busy travel schedule, but it may be the one that actually gives you the most energy to know you are really helping make a difference in someone’s life. It is a rewarding feeling to turn back around and help the next one in line.
Know when to give advice and when to listen - Some mentors may believe their job is just to give advice. This puts a lot of pressure on the mentor to have all the answers when, in reality, nobody has all the answers. Often people can figure out their own best answer, they just need someone to listen to them and ask them key questions. Nobody likes to hear someone go on and on…Just be self-aware of who has the floor most in the conversation. If it is you, you may want to take a few deep breaths and focus on listening a bit more.
Connect Mentees To Others of Influence - One of the greatest benefits of having a mentor is the help you can receive from that person in expanding your network. Ask your mentee often who they would like you to introduce them to and then ensure you follow through on this. It takes very little effort to send an email and help them open some doors that may have been more difficult for them to walk through without you.
Actively sponsor the mentee - Notice the use of the word ‘Actively?’ On a regular basis, it is important that you are advocating to others about your mentee’s strengths and helping sponsor them to move into more senior roles.
Talk about your own mistakes/struggles/challenges and lessons learned - This goes back to the idea that nobody is perfect. When you can break that image, it allows others to imagine it is possible for them to move into more senior roles too.
One of the positives that came out of the COVID pandemic lockdown was that we got to see inside people’s lives because of virtual work. Even the CEO may have kids running in the background or tacky-coloured wall paper! We are all human beings just trying to do our best.
Celebrate their successes - Sometimes a mentor/ee relationship becomes stale, not dissimilar to some marital relationships over time. Don’t just meet at your expected intervals and go through the motions. Make it fun. Go out for a drink or have a virtual lunch together to celebrate their new client or a successful presentation or a birthday. There really is always something to celebrate so make sure you make a point of having fun together and letting your mentee know you are in their corner cheering them on!
Lead by Example - I love the quote by Stephen Covey that says,“What you do has far greater impact than what you say.” Your mentee (and many others) are watching you. Don’t just talk about the important stuff, do it. And do it in a manner that makes you most proud of the work you do at the end of the day. Remember there is a place for kindness everywhere, including the workplace.
Know When It Is Time to End the Mentoring Relationship - Most relationships in our lives have an expiration date. That doesn’t mean we don’t like the person anymore. It just means we only have so many hours in a day and we need to focus on our top priority people at that point in time. I think people cross paths for varying durations for certain reasons. I believe when the lesson for both parties is complete, it is often time to carry on to the next growth opportunity for both people involved.
Learn more about Potential Unlimited’s Executive Coaching Programs to become a stronger leader and mentor!
