Do ‘Driver Type A’ Personality Types Have a Responsibility to Nurture Ideas from Others?

This summer while away at a cottage in Port Elgin, Ontario, Canada, I made a self-care appointment to get a pedicure at the small-town aesthetics shop. When I walked in the front door, I was greeted by the smell of nail polish. I was waiting behind another customer who was talking with the shop hostess trying to pick out the colour of polish she wanted for her pedicure.

I waited and waited for my turn to be greeted and to start my appointment, but the lady ahead of me just couldn’t decide what colour she wanted. And, the hostess seemed in no rush for her to move along to stop the bottleneck of customers that had now formed with a line up out the door. My purse was starting to weigh down my shoulder and I could feel that Type A part of me start to surface.

“You just pick the colour for me,” finally the customer said to the hostess. But, then the hostess was struggling to decide which colour she would choose for her customer she had likely never met before. I couldn’t take it anymore. This wasn’t a life-or-death decision. I approached them and said, “I will decide!”

I slid my sunglasses back on top of my head so I could get a better look at this woman and within 3 seconds, I chose a medium pink colour with a hint of mauve in it. Done.

But, instead of feeling relieved that the lineup could finally move and that my appointment could begin, I felt bothered inside. This woman had just completely handed over her power to me. And me, being the Type A person I am, just dove in and took it. Sure, somebody had to move the line. But, I wish my approach had been different.

How does this story apply to your workplace and what are my lessons learned here for Type A Drivers like me?

As we all know, there are many different personality types within our workplaces. If you are unsure what type you are, there are tonnes of personality/style tests you can take to help you figure this out. Once you know your style, this can help inform how you best work with others and manage yourself.

What would I have done differently if I could go back to that scenario? I would have approached the lady struggling to make her decision sooner. I would have assessed what her potential style was. I could have seen things through her eyes, saying something like, “There are so many choices here. It is overwhelming.” Then I could have followed up on “What hues do you like best?” She could have shown me and then I could have demonstrated more patience in helping her make a decision that felt right for her.

Okay, that day, we were talking about nail polish. Totally not a big deal! But, habits are formed through regular life interactions. The more people get caught in the cycle of handing over their choices to strong-personality Type A people like me, the more they may defer to that option in the future with more important decisions. For those with personality types like me, this experience made me question if we have a responsibility to help others build their confidence, share their ideas and grow. To a certain extent, I think we do. And, I missed the boat in this scenario.

It often comes down to awareness. When you are in meetings or listening to a presentation, notice the feelings that come up within you. Do you feel impatience or a desire to quickly get to the finish line? If so, take a deep breath. Remind yourself that you need to bring others along with you. There is an opportunity for you to be open and to learn from others. To slow down and relax. To enjoy the process and help others to feel that same way. Take the time to encourage those around you and ask questions. The fulfillment that the group will get from approaching things in this manner, regardless of the personality types involved, will far outweigh the ‘get it done’ mentality.

Life is not a race. It is an important journey and you don’t want to leave causalities along the way. Lift others up. Lend a helping hand. Be patient and kind. And like Maya Angelou said, “People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”