The One Last Wave Project
“It comes in waves,” is often how I’ve heard grief described. For me, there have been many days when it has felt like a tsunami after losing both my Husband and Dad to cancer. I have envisioned myself as a surfer, clinging to my board in these conditions, just trying to survive.
So when I connected with Dan Fischer, an avid surfer, who has taken that notion quite literally with his One Last Wave Project that connects grief, honouring our passed loved ones, and surfing, my interest was peaked.
In 2019, Dan’s Dad Karl died after an 8-year battle with pancreatic cancer. It was a roller coaster ride for almost a decade of thinking his Dad was improving, only to have his health plummet again. The cancer journey is rarely a linear one. Shortly after Karl passed away, Dan lost his best friend, his Malamute-mix dog Rudy. Dan and Rudy had been inseparable for 15 years.
Dan reached a point where he also felt lost.
Dan was born and raised in Montreal but moved to the U.S. and settled down in Rhode Island after the birth of his daughter. Being so close to the ocean, Dan took up surfing. But now as he was grieving, surfing took on a new meaning for him. It became a way for him to lean into the ups and downs of his sadness and loss as he also navigated the waves of the ocean.
One day when Dan was out surfing, heavy with grief, he decided to write ‘Dad’ on the end of his surfboard.
When Dan came out of the water, his gut instinct told him to put a video on TikTok to share an invitation with others to add their deceased loved ones names to his surfboard. He promised to take their loved ones out for ‘One Last Wave’ as a way of memorializing them.
This gesture not only allowed people who were grieving to honour their loved ones, but Dan had also began to open up a conversation about grief.
To Dan’s surprise, the video went viral. He had thousands of people from all over the world sending him requests to put their loved ones’ names on his board.
So what did Dan do? He got out his Sharpie marker and began to handwrite each of these names on the front and back of a surfboard (thousands of names!) and then took it out to the ocean to surf. To date, he has released five boards. This latest one which featured my husband Jeff’s name on it was released on Freedom Day in South Africa.
Since the time of his invitation to others to put their deceased loved ones’ names on his boards, Dan’s story was featured on ESPN (watch here) and he has been interviewed by media such as CNN, NBC, Associated Press, and has been a guest on many podcasts.
Dan’s 7-year-old daughter tells her teachers and friends about her ‘famous Dad!’ She only got to know her Grandfather on her Dad’s side for 4.5 years of her life, but through Dan’s Project, she is learning that those we love that leave this Earth, can still be honoured and will always hold a special place in our hearts.
As demand for names to be added on boards for The One Last Wave Project has increased, Dan has had to evolve to welcome help from others to write names on the boards and surf them. He realizes this project is way bigger than just him. But he makes time to connect with as many people as possible through email.
Dan and I have shared a few tears talking about our loved ones. He was extremely close to his Dad. His Dad was a renowned architect in Montreal and New York, responsible for most of the current look of the Brooklyn, NY, skyline. His Dad was a man very passionate about his work and also about sports. He was the coach of Team Canada’s Rugby team and played rugby in his earlier years competitively, too. Dan and his Dad went skydiving together, cycling, paragliding, hiking, flying, skiing, snowboarding and played hockey on the same team.
I think it is safe to say that Dan’s Dad was not your average kind of Dad! But in many ways, he was. He worked hard to provide for his family. A family he loved so very much. A man of few words, who left a major impact on many others. I can say the same for my sweet Dad and my daughters’ Dad. As we approach Father’s Day, it is a bittersweet day for so many people who have lost a father figure in their lives. And for those of you who still have your Dads, it is a reminder to hug them a little tighter this year and be thankful they are still in your life.
As Dan’s Dad approached the end of his life, he wanted to gift each of the people closest to him with a one-on-one experience. Dan’s experience with his Dad was to cycle one of the most challenging sections of the Tour de France, Alpe d’Huez, with his Dad. Karl fell several times on the ride. Even at Dan’s prompting to stop, concerned for his Dad’s health, Karl wanted to keep going. He lived his life all in, and wanted desperately to share this one last adventure with his only son and adventure companion.
As Dan and I talked about some of the struggles we each face in our own lives, Dan told me he has learned to hang onto the moments each day that bring joy. It could be a challenging day, but if he gets to see a sunset for 5 minutes, he holds onto that experience. Dan tries to look for the moments of light to bask in them, knowing that there is a lot of darkness out there right now. That is the reality for many of us.
When I asked Dan what advice he had for people experiencing grief, he said that he has learned there are many different ways to experience grief. He talked about a book he read, ‘The Way Men Heal,’ by Tom Golden that shared men may grieve differently than women. The book discusses that some men tend to throw themselves into a project as a way of grieving. Dan smiled as he shared with me that the farmhouse table he was sitting at during our conversation was one he had built after his Dad died, and he also created The One First Wave Project out of his love for his Dad. Perhaps there is something to Tom Golden’s theory!
For Dan, leaning into his grief and actually doing things that make him feel it, like mowing the lawn with the tractor at his parents’ farmhouse in Vermont when he visits his Mom, makes him think of his Dad. He may feel sad and emotional. And at the same time, it makes him feel connected to the man he so dearly still and will always love. He has learned it is important to feel this to help him continue to heal, knowing that the grief journey is never really over. It just changes in unpredictable ways over time.
When I first heard about Dan’s One Last Wave Project, I reflected upon a time when Jeff and I were in Tofino, B.C., and tried surfing. Jeff had done it before in Australia so had a leg up on me! This picture always makes me smile. Despite being quieter in nature, Jeff was so athletic and up for any adventure.
When I heard that The One Last Wave Surf Board #5 was going to be kept and surfed at Jeffries Bay in South Africa, I couldn’t help but get goosebumps. A very fitting place for the board with my Jeffrey’s name on it.
If you have lost a loved one and would like to have their name featured on an upcoming surfboard, you can submit their name to by visiting The One Last Wave website. There is no cost to submit a name. Dan does have merchandise to commemorate the project which is also a source of funding it.
