Are You Stuck? Or, Are You Just Wintering?

Have you been feeling you’re not getting the traction you want in your work or life? Does it feel like the harder you try, the more things aren’t working out? Or, maybe you’re just feeling a lack of motivation.

Even for a high-achiever, these feelings can be very normal and they can be a natural part of ‘wintering.’

There have been a lot of days since I suffered a brain injury 12 years ago, that I have felt like life has been a dance of one step forward and two steps back.

This past decade, I have had to dig deep within myself to access and build my own resilience, but I would be lying if I didn’t say there haven’t been a fair few days that felt pretty frustrating. I began to question if I was stuck. And, what I was doing wrong.

I learned to keep my head down in survival mode in a place of acceptance where I was at, while I kept going each day step by step.

Then I went to a silent retreat a few months ago and picked up the book called ‘Wintering: The Power of Retreat and Rest in Difficult Times’ by Katherine May.

So many things need to winter. Some animals hibernate. Many of the trees around my home have lost their leaves. The weather gets cooler in many places and there is this desire within ourselves to cozy inside and get more rest. But, what if there are stages of wintering in our lives that can occur at any time of the year? What if we have seasons of planting, growth, hibernation or wintering and then repeat?

When I look back on my life, I reflect on a busy 9-month period where everything seemed to flow quickly. I was promoted to vice president and then got engaged, we decided to buy a house in a completely new city and then were married and I became pregnant on our honeymoon. It felt like a whirlwind of goodness and busyness.

Then I reflect on the past 12 years since suffering a severe brain injury, losing my Dad and my Husband to cancer, both of my sweet Grandmas passed away, the COVID pandemic, and then my Mom’s diagnosis of cancer. My inlaws had both passed away before my late husband and I dated. I have struggled within myself with anxiety and a feeling of overwhelm.'

I have always had big dreams. I am smart, determined, and hardworking. But life has intervened and so many of my career dreams have had to take a back seat for important family time and continued healing for myself.

But what if I have not been stuck for all these years? What if every season in our lives is not meant for harvesting? Perhaps, we need to allow for time to winter and plant? This all makes good sense.

My knowledge and reflection on the concept of wintering have taken some of the pressure off me. The storyline is now much different in my head when I am not forging ahead in certain areas as strongly as I want to be right now. It is okay, I say to myself, “You are wintering.” This is a period to allow for space, to make room for amazing things, and to be grateful for any moments of stillness that occur now. I think about peaceful moments in the forest with snow freshly fallen on the ground and on tree branches around me. I breathe deeply. Wintering can be a beautiful place to be.

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