Can You Have it All or Is There a Season for Everything in Life?

I have always been a believer that we can have it all in our lives. And for a while, it may seem that I did. A great husband, beautiful and healthy children, a fabulous job and I was feeling healthy and vibrant myself. Although ironically if you would have gone back in time and asked me if felt 100 percent fulfilled, I would have likely said no. I was continually striving for more, feeling anxiety inside as well as suffering from insomnia. I was driving myself way too hard and nothing was really ever good enough.

Then I learned life has a way of rearranging our best-laid plans. After I suffered a brain injury and then lost my husband to esophageal cancer, I really began to question what was possible after all. Can we really have it all?

My answer to this question is yes, but in a different way than I had previously thought. The longer we live, the greater the chances are that we will face some type of hardships in life. During these times of challenge, it is really tough to feel in the space of ‘I have it all!’ But maybe it comes down to reframing what ‘having it all’ means. I am not talking about compromising or settling for less than you want. As an Executive Coach, I encourage people to aim high and go for their dreams. But, what I have learned is that things aren’t as black and white as I had once thought.

Having it all comes down to feeling a deep appreciation for all areas of your life. I cannot control I have a brain injury. My late husband led a super healthy life. He definitely couldn’t prevent dying of cancer. Some things are out of our control. Fighting against what is, is really a waste of time. But, feeling deep gratitude for what exists leads you to feel like you have won the lottery.

Layered on top of this gratitude, I have also come to see that there is a season in our lives for certain areas to surface as top areas of focus. For instance, I have been super ambitious in my career since I launched out of University. And now? I wish I could be out pounding the pavement harder for my Executive Coaching business or finally getting my book published that has been sitting with the first draft complete for a long time, but everything has a time.

Patience was a hard pill to swallow when I first suffered a brain injury 10 years ago. I just couldn’t ‘do’ what I had before and every time I tried, I was kicked back into bed with a bad headache. After experiencing that feeling a lot of times, I eventually learned I needed to pace myself. There is only one of me and I need to ensure that I am the best I can be for my children. Anyone who knows me well knows there is never any question about who number 1 is for me. It’s my daughters. I am their sole parent and provider.

So now, when I ask myself if I have it all? I tell myself I am blessed. I have a job as an Executive Coach that I love. I have two amazing daughters, a wonderful family, and friends. I continue to be on a healing journey in many ways, and that is okay. This is where I am meant to be and I try to trust that. All we can do is show up each day with our whole hearts and try our best. If we do that, then we are achieving success. I know the seasons in my life will change. I don’t know exactly how, but I trust that the winds of change will enter when I am ready. Until then, I am thankful to be right here.