‘Let Them:’ Stop Caring So Much About What People Think and Do What You Want!

I recently picked up a copy of Mel Robbin’s new book, ‘Let Them.’ Like so many others, I also have had times when I have fallen into the trap of worrying too much about what others think. I have experienced the guilt of making a decision that feels right for me or my family but has gnawed away at me when I worried about whether everyone else outside of me will be happy about my decision. But, if they are not, as Mel Robbins would say, “Let Them.”

In her book, Mel points out that we can’t change other people. We have likely heard this thought many times before, but sometimes people still fall into the old trap of wanting to fix others or change them. No matter how badly you may want someone to change and feel it is the best option for them, you really don’t have much control over the matter because people do what they want to do.

Now after you ‘Let Them’ carry on with their lives in a way they want or make their judgments about you, it is time to ‘Let Me.’ Let me make plans that feel right for me. Let me put up boundaries around the amount of time I spend with someone who sucks my energy. We are in control of our lives just as others are in control of their lives.

The underlying thought behind Let Them is an empowering one, which I believe is what attracts people to reading this book and also to Mel Robbins herself.

Don’t worry so much about what others think, and live the life you want! This book is a great reminder to us about this way of being and it really gives us permission (which we don’t need anyway) to do what we want and not get wrapped up in other people’s stuff.

The cult-like following around the Let Them approach is a testament to how many people are out there like you and me, who care too much about making everyone happy while still trying to make ourselves happy along the way.

Sometimes we can’t have it all. Sometimes others won’t agree with our decisions. And, that is fine. That is their right. Our right is to continue to live the way we want without any apologies. From a brain perspective, when we can do this, it not only leads to a more empowering feeling within us, but it improves our brain health by removing some of that day-to-day stress we feel about trying to live our lives by the rulebooks of others.

Mel Robbins’ direct in-your-face style about living the life you want, not waiting for anyone to come along to rescue you, and taking care of yourself while not worrying so much about what others think is the dose of reality that so many are longing for right now.

This stuff is not rocket science. I have a hard time even calling Let Them a theory as it is so simplistic. But, the concept of making decisions that feel right for you and not being plagued by others’ judgments is solid. And if it takes us hearing this from someone else to give ourselves permission not to worry so dang much about everyone else, then I’ll buy into that.

In a world of busy people who put so much pressure on themselves to do it all, it is a bit of a relief to think it is okay if others don’t agree with us, or God forbid, don’t like us. Let Them.