Developing Your EQ to Bring More Connection to Your Leadership Style
We all have different leadership styles. That is what makes us unique. Even if you try to emulate someone else, you are you. And you are bringing your own unique variation of style with you to each organization you go to.
But, does your current leadership style mean that is your natural and only style? No way!
I help leaders shift their styles. So how does someone who isn’t a ‘People’ person who has been a strong contributor for years and found themselves in a leadership role now managing, and yes, even motivating people, do it?
Here are 3 components of helping develop a stronger Leadership EQ:
Self Awareness
First, I work with the leader to understand what EQ gaps they are aware of. Then I conduct a 360 assessment to understand the perspectives of their leader, peers, and direct reports around their leadership style.
Sometimes if big gaps exist, it is not easy to hear this feedback from a 360. But, it is better to know than not to know. The leader could go their whole career (and some do!) without real awareness of how they are showing up to others at work. If they are not as effective as they could be, it’s a shame to go through one’s whole life not knowing and having the chance to learn and shift.
I often incorporate Mindfulness within our coaching sessions to teach my clients to be more aware of how they are showing up so they can self-regulate better.
Self Discovery
You can’t please everybody all of the time nor is this the goal when trying to become a stronger leader who connects with their people. It is not about the leader trying to transform themselves into an off-the-charts charismatic person or a leader that they think everyone else wants. It is about doing some soul-searching as a person first and then intentionally creating a leadership style that is in line with your values, personality, and strengths.
I take leaders through a discovery process that allows them to shift into the style of leadership that reflects who they are now, not the same style of managing they have used for years to get them where they are. That model needs to evolve to take leaders to the next level. Doing the self-discovery work on oneself is key to becoming an amazing leader.
Relationship Development
Now that you are more aware of how you are thinking and behaving as well as how that is showing up at work, and then evolving as a leader to reflect who you really are now and all the gifts you can bring to the role, it is time to connect deeper with your people.
For some, this is not an easy thing to do. They may feel more in their comfort zone working on strategy or trying to do as much of the work themselves as possible. But, it is immensely important as a leader that you push yourself to make real connections with people.
Notice I used the word ‘real?’ These are not connections based on you being nice and caring towards your people so they do what you want them to do. This needs to be a people-first approach. You are a human first, and a leader second. Your connection needs to be from a real place within you.
Ask your colleagues about their families, weekend activities, favourite hobbies, and sports. Be curious about them. Ask questions and then really hear them. Then remember. Remember their kid’s birthday. Remember when someone in their family is ill. Know the important stuff.
When you do this, something interesting happens. You begin to form true connections with your people. Some leaders may worry that the line becomes blurred between business and professional if they care too much. I hate to say it, but that line has been blurred since back in the days of the pandemic when we saw people’s screaming kids and barking dogs in the background of our video calls.
Our work world and cultures have changed. Vulnerability and connection are the new leadership traits that employees are drawn to. This prim and proper, perfectionist way of being has gone by the wayside. It doesn’t feel real. And in a world that has endured so much, we just want the truth. To feel like we really know our leaders and that our leaders know and care about us.
This also needs to translate to your presentation style. So if you are doing a company-wide address or pitching some clients, start off with a bit of small talk. You don’t have to entertain them with a juggling act. Don’t put so much pressure on yourself. Just ask them genuine questions about themselves or tell them a little bit about who you are in a personal capacity to act as an icebreaker.
Trust me, business often goes more favourably if you have established a personal rapport. And people deal with people they like - in business and in life.
Don’t be afraid to let your true self show. You are much more than your strategic mind or your ability to determine financial scenarios. Don’t sell yourself short. Building your EQ is like building a muscle at the gym. You need to practice. To put yourself out there and keep being open to it. Over time, it will feel easier and more enjoyable. Before you know it, you will develop a strong followership and people will bend over backward for you and your vision. Why? Because they are connected to and trust you. You have what it takes, but you need to trust yourself that you can do this and once you do, others will trust you, too.
Development Opportunities:
Make this the year you invest in yourself and find out what you are really capable of! Lean = more about my Executive Coaching Programs!
