Ready for a personal makeover in your life?

As an Executive Coach, I am a strong believer in people doing their inner work and cultivating greater self-awareness. So, I must say the profound impact that undertaking a home renovation had on me was completely surprising. After all, it is just a material possession.

I will never forget the day the demo team came to my house. I was gathering up a few belongings in my bedroom to get ready to take off for the day when the team began their work. I actually dropped to my knees and cried when I heard the sound of sledgehammers smashing ceramic tile and walls on the floor below me. I was instantly transported back to the moment 18 months earlier my husband took his final breath in my arms.

This house that our family built so many memories in was being destroyed. Just like cancer had destroyed our lives as we knew them when it stole my husband/daughters’ Dad away. This is the home we moved into when we were engaged, brought our babies home from the hospital, laughed in, felt pain and comfort in, and a lot of love lived here. Without Jeff, so much had changed in our lives and now the physical appearance of the home was changing too.

I wiped my tears, picked myself up, and gathered our daughters from their bedrooms. It was time to go. A rebuild was on the horizon.

Are you ready for a change in your life? What does moving on look like for you? I have come to the realization that moving on doesn’t mean letting go of the past or loved ones. It is about embracing that love and those experiences from your life to carry forward with you.

If you are ready to rebuild then you need to be willing to make some sort of a change. It could be a physical space change-up like me. Maybe it is something related to saying good-bye or hello to a relationship or a job. It might be putting boundaries in place around technology that you feel is wasting away your precious energy. Or, working with a Coach to help you make some profound shifts and develop an action plan to bring those changes to fruition in your life.

If you want a different outcome, you must be willing to do things differently.

Have faith. We all have different perspectives on religion and spirituality. But beyond theology, this point is about believing that if you do the best you can in life and are kind to people, as well as not being afraid of figuring out and working towards what you want, that you need to have faith the life you are meant to have will find you. Really, there is nothing more you can do. So, worrying about it isn’t going to bring you any closer to your vision. It will likely push you away as you are wasting precious energy. Focus on the things you can control and leave the rest up to the magic of the universe.

Don’t underestimate the impact of the external environment. This was my big a-ha moment. Perhaps, it shouldn’t have been a surprise to me. Anyone who has ever bought a great outfit that makes her/him/they feel amazing knows the power of investing in external development. Don’t be afraid to splurge on yourself (of course, always being smart about your current cash flow situation!)

Consider who you are spending the most time with. Just like the saying goes, you are the sum of the 5 people you spend the most time with. Are these the people who reflect and inspire this rebuild for you? If not, maybe it is time to shake-up this group.

Strategize your rebuild. Think about how much time and energy a company puts into a rebuild plan. Now compare what resources you are utilizing into your own personal rebuild?

I suggest carving out time with a blank journal and pen in a relaxing space for you to conduct your own strategic planning session. Brainstorm what you want for your life and career. Then plan your objectives, strategies, and tactics (just like you would for a corporate planning session). Look at measurable ways to determine your success and plan timelines. Then transfer those initiatives/timelines into your day planner to ensure you are keeping on schedule with achieving your objectives.

Remember, this isn’t just about your career. We cannot compartmentalize our careers and lives. I challenge you to aim big and think about the type of life overall you want. When you are thriving and happy on the personal side, this will seep into your work and impact performance there, too. You deserve happiness so go for what you want in this life!

My renovation is now wrapped up. We have a beautiful new main floor space that represents the style of my daughters and I. These changes occurred on the foundation that their Dad helped build, yet it is completely new. I can’t help but be struck by the similarity of this process in our lives - the destruction, then sitting in a shell of nothingness before we watched the rebuild happen step by step right in front of our eyes. The rebuild wasn’t always smooth and it didn’t happen within our projected timelines. But, it happened and it is beautiful. Although Jeff never graced these floors with his presence, I can feel him still here saying, “Way to go. You are doing amazing!”

Our new kitchen!