Girls Are Not Better Than Boys

On the weekend, I was at the park and saw an adorable girl wearing a bright pink t-shit that had the message ‘Girls are Better Than Boys’ written across the front of it in bold letters.

I understand the whole girl power vibe. Both of my children are girls. But, I must say this messaging seemed a bit off. Can you imagine if a little boy was wearing a t-shirt that said ‘Boys are better than Girls?” People would be giving his/their parents nasty looks for sure.

So if we want to fill the large equality gap that still exists. What is important?

There is a strong need for women to identify both women and men role models. I didn’t have a single female work-related role model/sponsor throughout my entire time in the corporate world (thankfully that has changed for me now as an entrepreneur!). First of all, I was in largely male-dominated industries so there just weren’t women there especially in senior leadership roles (yes, which outlines the problem). But, also females in those roles were focused on working harder than any male there that they seemed too busy to turn around and help the next one in line.

In the absence of female role models, I learned to select strong male role models and sponsors. Perhaps being the only daughter in a family of boys helped my comfort level here, but I also knew it was a means of survival. If I wanted to enter the ‘club,’ I needed to show up and ask for membership. I needed to believe in myself enough to take that step.

I also had to ask for what I was worth. I see the same thing occur almost every time I coach a woman in the midst of career negotiations. She is afraid to ask for too much. She fears she’s not ready for that next-level job and it is too much of a stretch. Believe in yourselves, ladies. You are amazing and have so much to offer.

Even if money isn’t your main motivator, it is so important for a zillion reasons to ask for what you’re worth. Consider this, your pay dictates what pay grade you fall into. If you want to set yourself up for future promotions at a quicker pace, you want to position yourself at the top of the pay grade which will then prompt a job assessment sooner. This then leads you to qualify for more senior positions with more money where you can impact the world at a higher level faster. I have never left a job without at least a $25,000 pay increase. Sure it is wonderful to have a great job, but to get compensated for it appropriately also feels good.

Network with a diverse crowd. Whether it is in-person or virtual networking, mix it up. This includes meeting people of all backgrounds, beliefs, and gender affiliations. Broaden your horizons and your contacts. Don’t be afraid to connect with the most senior level of leaders as part of this group. They are people too and it is challenging for them to promote you and recognize your work if they don’t really know you.

And the concept behind the old boys’ clubs that I know still exist in some organizations is that you work with and reward those you like. Well, if you aren’t playing in that circle, how will the senior leaders even get a chance to know and like you? I understand there is a lot from an organizational level that needs to still be done to address and support these imbalances, but I want to challenge you to push yourself. To raise yourself to a higher standard of visibility.

Girls may not be better than boys, but we are just as good. We have so many amazing qualities to offer the world. Ask for what you want. Remember, how amazing you are. Dive in and work boldly.