I am no stranger to overwhelm. As a sole parent who is trying her best to raise her children to live their lives to the fullest (and still take part in activities at the same level as if two parents were supporting this), plus work, and my own life, it can feel like a lot. Add in some perimenopausal hormones and it may seem like the perfect storm of overwhelm.

Lately, I have been doing a lot of reflection and reading about overwhelm. In my line of work as an Executive Coach, overwhelm is something I see often in my clients. It robs us of our quality of life and our peace of mind. When we feel overwhelmed, it can lead us to feel we are in too deep, doing too much, out of control, with a lot of pressure.

We are never going to live our best lives or do our best work from this place. But, overwhelm isn’t all bad. Let me explain

Resilience is something we develop when we go through tough experiences. I think of my Dad when I describe this. Growing up, we had a lovely,well-manicured yard. My Dad wouldn’t have ever thought about hiring a maintenance crew. He did it all himself with the help of my Mom for planting and watering Other than that, it was all Dad. He would shovel and hoe almost every day. When I looked at the inside of his hands, they had callouses on them from the use of these gardening tools over time. These callouses emerged because tough work had required them to grow to help my Dad’s hands to be able to do everything that his life was telling them through experience he needed to do. The callouses helped him to carry through. To handle the tough stuff better.

And that is exactly how we grow our resilience. We develop this inner strength over time because we have to. This growth does not feel so comfortable at the time and often can feel like pain, but it forces us to shift and change to be able to carry the heavier load more efficiently.

At the end of July, COVID-19 finally caught up with my household. I felt like we had been playing Dodgeball with it for over two years and it got my daughters and me at the same time. It ended up hitting me hard.

As I lay in bed with a brutal headache, I thought about the journey I had been on over the past 10 years since my brain injury. It has been a wild ride. And, I have remained resilient throughout it all. But, I was tired of being resilient. I was feeling Resilience Fatigue.

I have never heard of the term Resilience Fatigue before. It is something I just coined in a moment of pain lying in bed. But, I think it is a very real thing and it is something I believe many of us are feeling right now.

If you are feeling Resilience Fatigue and it is impacting your life and work, what do you do about it?

Recently an article was shared with me entitled, “Welcome to Holland!” This piece was written by Emily Perl Kingsley from her perspective as a mother of a disabled child. But, the person who passed it my way felt it would resonate with me (and it did) and perhaps it will resonate with you, too.

Welcome to Holland!

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland." "Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy." But there's been a change in the flight plan.