The Virtue of the Practice of Patience

I would not consider myself the most patient of people. I know that a lot of my Type A, hard-driving Executive Coaching clients find themselves in the same boat. Over the years, I have moved the dial in my level of patience but I still have room to grow.

On a recent retreat, I found myself standing outside this Labyrinth. I have walked Labryths before. Normally, I focus on walking mindfully. I am aware of the feel of my body, my feet crackling on the dried fallen cedar branches crushing against small pebbles embedded within the soil. But, this time I found my intention to be different. As I started the walk, I tried to shut off thoughts from my brain and just trust my body to find its way through this winding path.

I am a big believer in the natural intelligence of our bodies and I do think that there are times when we can get out of the way with our fears and need to control and plan, to enable our bodies to carry us and heal in ways we hadn’t expected.

So I began my walk around the trail with a ‘goal’ of finding myself in the middle of it.

I was amazed at the stuff that came up for me. A lot of thoughts about impatience and this being a waste of time. Really? I was at a silent retreat with no schedule and nowhere to be. Truly, nothing to do.

I found myself wanting to hop over rows of nicely laid stones defining the paths. I was trying to get to my goal quickly. All this other stuff felt like a distraction. Again, really? This is part of the process. I thought I had shifted and grown to embrace the journey and not just focus on my destination. I agree there is a balance of journey and destination thinking needed, but I was pulling hard to destination in this moment. Years in the corporate world have wired my brain to jump, jump, and do it quickly. But, what if the most effective style of leadership for all of us is to also pay attention to the depth of the process?

As I continued walking in the path, the excuses started to come up. “All of this walking around in circles might make my brain feel dizzy and headachey because I have a brain injury,” my fears whispered within my mind. Oh boy, I was playing that card!

Yes, I do experience brain injury symptoms still and they do limit me in some activities. But, I could just take that Labyithy really slow if I were afraid of headaches. It was quiet there. I didn’t need to rush. That need for speed was 100 percent self-imposed.

I reminded myself to trust the process. To trust my body to take the wheel and find its way.

Eventually, I arrived in the centre and saw a pile of small momentos that those before me had left - a feather, stone, and leaves. I found a small rock beside me and added it to the pile. My contribution to the shared community of those who had ventured before me. Those in search of something and maybe those who felt found.

I slowly stood up. I looked up at the sky and the large trees - a mix of maple trees and cedars towering above me. I took a deep breath.

I was very proud of my body for guiding me here. In life, we are often run by our minds. They are so helpful in many ways. But sometimes our brains’ desire to protect us can bring up a lot of fears that really don’t serve us. And in fact, can derail us.

If I had listened to my brain, I would have hopped rows of rocks to quickly step in the centre and then out again. No big deal, I didn’t do the Labyrinth. But it is a big deal because that way of thinking in life means we are constantly rushing to the end. We see the process as a necessary evil to get to the centre, the goal. But, the problem with that is there is always another goal. And before you know it we are goal-hopping through our lives and we miss a lot of the actual living.

This experience was a reminder to me to slow down and enjoy the moment. To trust myself, including my natural intelligence more. To get out of my own way to allow the truest parts of me to emerge. This is where the best most meaningful parts of us come to life

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