I am no stranger to overwhelm. As a sole parent who is trying her best to raise her children to live their lives to the fullest (and still take part in activities at the same level as if two parents were supporting this), plus work, and my own life, it can feel like a lot. Add in some perimenopausal hormones and it may seem like the perfect storm of overwhelm.

Lately, I have been doing a lot of reflection and reading about overwhelm. In my line of work as an Executive Coach, overwhelm is something I see often in my clients. It robs us of our quality of life and our peace of mind. When we feel overwhelmed, it can lead us to feel we are in too deep, doing too much, out of control, with a lot of pressure.

We are never going to live our best lives or do our best work from this place. But, overwhelm isn’t all bad. Let me explain

For my entire adult life, I have been a Type A personality. I am driven, ambitious, and goal-oriented. If you are like me, you know the pros around this way of being is that you tend to achieve.

But the downside of wiring yourself to lead and live like this is there is little peace in your mind. You are always thinking, strategizing, and planning. Eventually, this can lead to a feeling of never being in the moment because your brain is always swirling around. And before you know it, this becomes the way our lives are conducted as days roll into years and even though we are achieving, we are really not fully living.

How does Mindfulness do all of this?

As leaders, we are familiar with discussing people issues with our Executive team. We want to retain top talent and keep them engaged. But, what if the trend now is the actual leaders themselves are feeling a lack of engagement and motivation? As an Executive Coach, I am seeing that trend with some top leaders. If you or others in your organization are feeling this way, here are some things I want you to know.

After I suffered a severe concussion 12 years ago when I fainted and smashed my head off the concrete floor, I was told the only form of treatment was to go home and lie in the dark until at least some of the brain pain subsided.

I lay in my darkened bedroom for 11 days. There was no stimulation of any kind allowed - no music, podcasts, cell phones, TV, even conversations with my husband. And, my baby girls had to be sent to my parents’ house. I didn’t see the sky, or anything outside of my room, other than the ensuite bathroom for 11 full days.

One of the first things I remember when coming out of the darkened room is the details of everything. The bright blue sky. The vibrant green of the trees. The way the wind felt as it caressed my skin in the sunlight

I would not consider myself the most patient of people. I know that a lot of my Type A, hard-driving Executive Coaching clients find themselves in the same boat. Over the years, I have moved the dial in my level of patience but I still have room to grow.

On a recent retreat, I found myself standing outside this Labyrinth. I have walked Labryths before. Normally, I focus on walking mindfully. I am aware of the feel of my body, my feet crackling on the dried fallen cedar branches crushing against small pebbles embedded within the soil. But, this time I found my intention to be different. As I started the walk, I tried to shut off thoughts from my brain and just trust my body to find its way through this winding path.

Feminine energy is when you relax into who you are more deep in your core and take the time to really connect with people. It is not about hard drive or competition. It is looking at opportunities and challenges with an open heart and asking yourself what is possible and using your gut instinct to take steps towards that, being patient with yourself and others along the way. It is caring. Kind. But, also honest.

If a project isn’t going as planned, someone leaning into their feminine energy wouldn’t ignore the issue. They would pause and ask themselves, as much with their intuition as their head, what is going on here? They would then communicate openly with the team from a place of vulnerability (and of not having all the answers) to work together to rally the troops and take steps to get to the goal. The process is just as important to the goal from a feminine perspective. People in this realm feel they are doing the right thing every step of the way and if not, they listen to themselves and others until it is resolved openly.

Resilience is something we develop when we go through tough experiences. I think of my Dad when I describe this. Growing up, we had a lovely,well-manicured yard. My Dad wouldn’t have ever thought about hiring a maintenance crew. He did it all himself with the help of my Mom for planting and watering Other than that, it was all Dad. He would shovel and hoe almost every day. When I looked at the inside of his hands, they had callouses on them from the use of these gardening tools over time. These callouses emerged because tough work had required them to grow to help my Dad’s hands to be able to do everything that his life was telling them through experience he needed to do. The callouses helped him to carry through. To handle the tough stuff better.

And that is exactly how we grow our resilience. We develop this inner strength over time because we have to. This growth does not feel so comfortable at the time and often can feel like pain, but it forces us to shift and change to be able to carry the heavier load more efficiently.