Workplace Bullies
Growing up, most of us likely faced bullies on our school playgrounds. It is an awful feeling to be relentlessly teased or ridiculed by another person(s). It can erode our confidence, lead to a feeling of isolation, and reduce our performance.
When I was a child, I equated bullying to immaturity and expected that once I became an adult that this behaviour I witnessed happening around me would stop. But, the reality is that bullying still happens at workplaces. We may not see it from our leadership positions but don’t be too quick to dismiss that it isn’t happening at your organization.
The cost of bullying can be high in terms of poor morale leading to a tainted organizational culture and also reduced employee performance as well as absenteeism and the loss of great talent who may leave our organizations trying to escape being bullied.
So, how do we know if there is bullying in our organizations, and if so, how do we deal with bullies?
A great way to gain insight into what is happening within your organization is to do anonymous engagement surveys of all staff (which most of us do), but ensure you are asking direct questions about bullying. Allow for open-ended questions around this too to gain greater insight into the specifics.
A WPI study showed that 77 percent of people who felt bullied eventually found themselves leaving their organizations to try to escape the situation. As such, exit interviews that ask specific questions about bullying may be helpful, although, too late for the individual leaving.
I believe that bullying is a behaviour versus the individuals. The majority of people I have met and worked with in my life have honestly been trying to do the best they can, but insecurities can get the best of some people which can lead to trying to put others down or ridicule them in order to try to make themselves feel better.
Logically, that is a poor strategy and will never really work at making someone feel better in the long term. But, if an individual(s) is desperate for attention and sees someone else as getting more attention or stopping them in any way from achieving their goal, bullying might be an option. Also, some people just want to ‘win’ friends and think they are being funny at someone else’s expense.
If you or someone you know is facing workplace bullying, here are some important tips:
Stand up for yourself. The sooner you can do this, the better. This will let the bully know that you aren’t an easy target and they will likely move on. Don’t forget to use confident body language - standing tall while you use a strong voice and make eye contact. Remember, nobody has the right to push another person around.
Take the high road. Don’t give the individual who is bullying you any of your precious energy. Say hello and then carry on with your business. It is not your job to help them work out their issues. Be civil, but your job isn’t to try to make them like you.
Document the abuse. Take notes and collect evidence to demonstrate the bullying that is occurring to share with HR.
Take care of yourself outside of work. When we are bullied, it drains our energy and may cause us to lose sleep at night. Taking the time to exercise, practice mindfulness, journal, and talk to a Coach or counselor are all good ways to reduce stress to help you better navigate through this bullying behaviour to its resolution.
Perspective. Likely the impact of this bullying is on your mind a lot and doesn’t deserve this much neuro-real estate. By participating in hobbies, volunteering, going out with friends, etc., you can put some boundaries around the amount of energy this bullying is draining from you until it gets resolved. Otherwise, if left to fester in your mind, there is a danger of this growing in importance in your life, preoccupying your thoughts and playing havoc with your relationships as well as your health.
Talk to HR. If the bullying continues, bring your evidence and share it with your company’s human resources department. Know in advance of this meeting if your company has a policy against bullying and tie in your evidence to this policy as part of your conversation. Understand how HR will deal with the situation and ask for what you may need to protect yourself if the bully chooses to retaliate after they are tapped by HR.
If all else fails, look for another job. This should be a last resort, but sometimes there is no other way. Do your due diligence to resolve the issue, but if nothing changes, you need to do whatever you can to protect your mental health.
Interested in working with me as your Executive Coach? Check out my website and reach out to get started!
